Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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