we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
