we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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