I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
