I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
