is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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