I hope mine doesn't look like that
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
