i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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