I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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