I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
