I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
