just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Randomize
