i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
