Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
