Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
