I love black thongs
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
