I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
