You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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