NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize