Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
