we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
