i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
