.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
