he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
