How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
