I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Randomize
