Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
