My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
