I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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