Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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