I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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