): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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