Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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