i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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