You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
