Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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