i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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