I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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