..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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