He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
