look no pants
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
