the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There r osticjed everywhere
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
