I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
