great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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