her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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