I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
