There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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