I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
