Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
