I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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