My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
