She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
