All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize