Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
