i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
