There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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