But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
