fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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