My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
