The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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